That 58% of men fantasizes about the idea of making a trio is something that us not caught by surprise to none, right? But discover that your guy belongs to that 58%, I would be happy to share his bed and you with a third is, at least, unsettling. Say “disturbing” because thus defined my friend (called Lisa, to safeguard their anonymity) that hodgepodge of emotions he felt upon discovering the favorite fantasy of her boyfriend.
The story of Lisa
Madrid, in 1999. Lisa and her (finally) formal boyfriend enjoyed a memorable concert of Hole in full sun and surrounded by thousands of fans. Just to his right, a brunette girl dancing (or coceaba) to the rhythm of ‘Celebrity Skin’. An apology after a STOMP, a comment in a voice high on the enthusiasm of the singer for teaching panties more another push triggered the start of a conversation: “it is the first time that you see Courtney Love live?” asked the stranger. «Yeah», succinctly answered my friend. «Isn’t it fantastic?» “It is Yes, incredible;” «Would you like a little bit of my beer?» «Eeeh, no thanks».
After an endless screams, heavy guitarreos and Courtney screaming to the lung, the brunette returned to go to Lisa: “I lost my friends, do you mind if I stay with you?” «No, of course, that not».
Lie. He did Lisa not shred of grace that the stranger will flatten them. Disliked by people who take too much confidence and nor nothing liked the curly hair of the morena, the top crochet that barely covered her breast, nor that smooth abdomen, or fallen cowboy to the hip and, much less, ugly detail show the plastic panties. Spent the rest of the concert checking glancing to her boyfriend.
To his surprise, the (finally) boyfriend seemed more interested in the concert to the brunette, or even the own Lisa. Made curious also, the unknown rarely interacted with him. Limited to drink, dance and joke with my friend. Several hours later, when Hole and the other groups that followed gave purpose to the festival, his new BFF asked what plan had for the rest of the night. “We’re going home. Her parents are travel and…» The coupled interrupted: «And I can sign up for your plan? You know what I mean… If you do, clear».
If you do? Lisa needed several seconds and three deep breaths of oxygen to process the message, leave the shock and recover the voice: “what… the… feel.» That roll is not going with us». The brunette broke out laughing: ‘are you sure? I think that you should speak for you».
When suspicions that your guy fantasizes about a menage
My friend nailed the look on her boyfriend and, surprise!, the brunette was all right: should never speak for the two. The boy watched them with such delight that anyone would have thought that it was gobbled a double Cup of ice cream: chocolate + cream. AWE, jealousy, insecurity, curiosity… and a Lisa despanzurrada in a two-meter deep pit crying out that they buried her and live, to be.
What they’re hiding fantasies?
Except the peculiarities which each neighbor’s son hides his head, generally a sexual fantasy is not a sign of frustration, repression or manifest a desire to latent make it reality. Love to all, to paraphrase Freud, but his theories are not universal truths.
Brett Karh, psychotherapist and author of one of the most extensive on sexual fantasies and exhausted investigations (‘who has been sleeping in your head?’, 2007), ensures that the vast majority of humans fantasize with sex; This erotic content is not more than the natural creative process of a mind awakens and heals and that a mind without the imaginative capacity makes it a “cold and dreary place”. Vacuum.
If we assume the Karh perspective, it would be so unfair to condemn a man with regular partner by fantasize “sex to three” as us to imagine our House invaded by hundreds and hundreds of shoes, don’t you think?
Are you positive that confess you your fantasy?
Share our sexual fantasies with your partner or show interest in his will enrich our relationship and improve the confidence between the two, provided it is of mutual agreement and the content does not violate the ethics, values and sensibilities of the other. This means that some fantasies are suitable for counting and others should be keep for yourself.
The ménage à trois, for example, often awakening in many women the type insecurities: I am not enough for it?, do you castles in its fantasy because you want to be unfaithful?… As I have already explained, there is a difference between fantasy and real desire, therefore the answer would be NO. But if one is unable to overcome his insecurities or excited with the idea of a trio, it would be a good time to clarify terms with your partner and/or share other kinds of fantasies more akin to both.
Where they fit two would fit three?
To enjoy a trio it is necessary that the couple share a taste for such fantasy, a liberal-minded on unconventional practices and maximum security in oneself and their relationship. If he invites you to practice it and you answer with a Yes please you you’ll be launching from two thousand meters of altitude, parachute but without checking before the damn cord. The morrazo against reality may be ordago.
To answer questions and make the right decision, I recommend that you imagine for yourself the situation and/or you contemplate an erotic movie of these characteristics (though be warned that fantasy to the fact there is a stretch). That will help you analyze the feelings and emotions you those scenes.
And when fantasy becomes reality
I repeat: the fantasy to the fact there is a stretch. I would say that a lunar trip between what you imagined and the real. Our minds, which doorbell has a hair, to have fun doesn’t skimp on details and all luxuries: the perfect setting (bed with silk sheets, canopies, curtains that float in the sea breeze, twinkling candles); three absolutely synchronized lovers, three bodies that were born to fit like pieces of a puzzle; every movement, every sigh, every Rams perfectly choreographed. None occurs to him say “jopé, what tired I am!”, “Beware of the knee, monina”, “start you or I start?”
Finally, Kahr says in its study and common sense says so: any fantasy is far from reality. Last spell, bed with canopy becomes the Ikea and the silk sheets… are a disgusting because they slip out and adhere to the body with sweat.
And thus ended the history of Lisa, her boyfriend and the brunette
That night, back home and alone, Lisa did not stop throwing pullitas her boyfriend until no choice but to confess was the boy: «Yes, makes me think of a trio; and Yes! I would like to do with the two, but it was obvious that you didn’t want to; as it is already, nothing happens, forget it».
If a man says “not passes nothing, forget it” it means it passes but I don’t want to talk about it, said Lisa. After a few minutes of reflection found a way to solve it: “would like to make a trio? OK, then do it. If you want, am called Pedro. He has always seemed nice and, as you are so colleagues, sure that don’t give you a cable with this, don’t you think?»
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